God bless you - You are amazing in His sight, never forget that!!! He created you in His image, and we all have a Purpose!!!
Good Morning my friends, my doggie woke me up this morning, and I thought, I would get to see some of the announced Leonid Shooting Stars - but it's foggy :(
Oh well, I shall use this time, and talk to you about, what God wants me to tell you today - Oooops.....do I want to make that confession, not sure, but if He wills it, I shall do it:
I was dead set on saving myself for marriage.......and I managed for a long long time.
I was very scared of men and I never thought I was desirable, full of insecurities, that had to do with my health conditions (asthma and eczema) - but that was not why I wanted to stay pure - these were just the plausible reasons, that I thought I needed to defend that desire....I even decided (on a subconscious level) to make myself less desirable by adding extra weight......this was due to some experiences in the past, when men had overstepped my boundaries (as I mentioned in an earlier post - maybe even in my previous blog: youschka650220.blogspot.com before: Thank God I was never raped, but I have been touched by men, that had no right to do that.....) that and the very authoritarian father plus an older brother, who thrived on making me cry - I was truly scared of men......sex was something that I couldn't fathom and I had no interest in it during these early years of my life (which is absolutely normal and right, for we cannot even try to understand the immense and sacred gift, God is giving us with that way of loving another, by receiving and giving love on a physical, but more importantly on the spiritual and soul level.......)
Anyway - I wanted to stay pure for my future husband - and I managed for a long time - actually until I was 28 - but then, due to peer pressure - or the judgment of those around me, whose approval still mattered at that time - when I was at a seminar, ...I caved in....... - I do not regret the experience, for he was very gentle, but I regret not having kept my promise to myself and to the one God has for me. I know God didn't mean it to be that way - for sexual union can only be all it can be, when you truly love someone, when you are willing to bear your soul and your heart with one another - it's meant to be the ultimate expression of Love......and we thwart it by giving it away sometimes even casually and carelessly. Sad but true, in today's society, sex has been placed on a pedestal of instant physical gratification.....thus it looses it's deep impact on the lovers and the potential to bring Healing to both Lovers in it's wings.
We are all hurting, we have all had our share of past trauma, we try to hide or compensate this by being physical - by having sex - the reason, why we do that, is: deep inside we know, there is Healing in the sexual encounter - it was intended to be that way, but it can only bring true healing when it's a connection on all levels of our existence (Body, Spirit and Soul) - the ultimate way of expressing Love to one another. We so often forfeit the healing we could receive, by casually having sex with whoever we encounter, hoping each time, that this would finally be the one, that holds the key to our soul.....yet, it's in the holding steadfast to love.....not running away from it, when running away is our first impulse, after we have been hurt or rejected, in extending forgiveness over and over again......and choosing to love with our heart, not just with your body, that we will find that key.
Your Heart knows the way - it's in your Heart, that Jesus takes residence - let Him guide you home to the all encompassing Love of God. We will never understand the Plan of God, with our limited knowledge.....but He has a plan, and this plan is to prosper us and not to harm us - let's allow Him to lead the way into a fulfilled and purpose driven life, let's collectively reject the ego driven, self serving ways of our past, and embrace the Destiny, God holds for us - has prepared for us before we were even born.
Here comes part 2 of todays post: God reveals all things to us, but we cannot see it.....Let Him open your inner eye, to see the mysterious ways, in which He works in our lives.....
I have made reference here twice to men I had a crush on at different times in my life - the first one, when I was 13 (in a very recent post - 'Beautiful Voices all around), the second, when I was 23 (this was in my previous blog: http://youschka650220.blogspot.com) - and I am just realizing, that the first name of the one when I was 13 and the last name of the one when I was 23 combine to the name of the one who I love today. God even had a plan in this - AND in me telling you about both of them in earlier posts - Amazing, isn't it?
I love the Musical Phantom of the Opera.....yet once I saw a different production than Andrew LLoyd Webber's in Zurich, it was by a man named Ken Hill - I saw it with a friend of mine, who I thought could be the one, God had for me - that was in 1991 - yet he wasn't the one.....it would have been the wrong production. So God gave him the wisdom, to not let us get involved with one another.
Everything is right here in front of our very eyes to see or for our ears to hear - but it's hidden to those, whose souls are yet dead in Christ.....but when He wakes you up, step by step He will teach you, how to decipher the riddle - how to receive the revelations God has for you personally.
Today I see and hear so much, everything make so much sense, and all seems to be falling into place - that's because at one point in my life, Christ woke me up, and I chose to listen and obey, but most of all, I chose to trust Him with all my Heart and lean not on my own understanding, but let the Holy Spirit guide me to my destination. I know, God is not finished with me, but I also know, that He doesn't need a perfect Heart, all He needs is a willing Heart, and He will do the rest, to fulfil the destiny He placed in my Heart before the beginning of time......
Praying for you, that you would listen to that small voice - you may want to call it intuition, I call it the voice of God - the whisper of the Holy Spirit trying to guide you to where you belong.
God is amazing and He blows me away, how all of His Creation is in tune with one another - all things work together for the Good of those who love Him and are called according to His Purpose.
Trust Him my friends, your Best is Yet to come!!!
In Jesus' Name - Amen
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